by Lauren Lane Powell
When we talk about personal and global evolution, when we speak of awakening to our Spiritual potential, when we dialogue about healing our body, “forgiveness” comes up – front and center. In order to truly transcend, forgiveness is essential. All great Masters teach that forgiveness is the key to eternity. We need to forgive our parents, our teachers, our politicians, our clergy, our siblings, our condition, ourselves. We need to forgive to heal, to move on. “How
do I forgive?” becomes the question.
Now I’ve been doing my work for over 25 years and forgiveness has always been a part of that. However in years of therapy – which was very valuable – my forgiveness work was mental, intellectual
. When I started my Spiritual journey, forgiveness became more heart-centered
. Now I know, through my work as a singer, how physical
and active forgiveness can and needs to be for healing at depth. When I forgive from my body muscles, the same muscles I sing and speak with, I push the toxic emotions up and out of my body deliberately, through the very breath that held them trapped for so long!
Let’s back up a bit. When we are traumatized as children we react like threatened animals. We breathe shallowly and produce the fight or flight chemicals in the brain. When we can’t express, cry out or fight back, we stuff those feelings into our gut. We hold our breath so as not to feel the pain and we swallow our emotions. Part of us splits off for survival, just to cope! If we survive we grow into adulthood.
Now I’m a grown-up. The parts of me I lost as a child are still missing. I am wounded and carry my woundedness with me. I am stressed and sick. I attract one bad job after another, one bad relationship after another. My counselor, my minister, my family and friends tell me to just get over it. “Forgive! “Move on!” “Let go of the pain. The past is past.” “Everyone is only doing the best they can do.” “You wouldn’t know yourself without everything that happened to you.” “There is nothing to forgive, it’s in God’s hands.” Blah Blah Blah!
While ALL of that is true, that truth does nothing to release the cellular memory of past pain trapped in my cells. In fact my receptor cells are so used to receiving criticism, anger and fear that they look for, find and create scenarios that will support my core belief- that I deserve criticism, anger and fear. The issues are in my tissues.
So while there are a growing number of techniques to release and let go, and while there are many books that take us through exercises from role-playing to tapping, my favorite tool is one I lovingly call “The Primal Purge.” Similar in nature to the old “primal scream” of the 1970s the purge comes from deeper inside the body, the gut, the abdominals, where the toxic emotions live…up until now!
In the primal scream we were encouraged to yell and scream at mom and dad in an empty chair to get to the pain. It looked good on paper but we repeated the same story over and over again, just louder. We embellished our stories and stayed embroiled in them and we lost our voice from the screaming.
As a voice teacher and vocal coach for over 20 years I have witnessed many an emotional breakthrough when students hear the richness and beauty of a voice they never believed they had. Singing on key is a Spiritual experience if you were told and believe you cannot! But beyond the breath, beyond the tone what starts to release are all of the stuck emotions that shut us up and shut us down in the first place. Singing from the muscles we were born to sing with starts the process!
The Primal Purge- I have to feel it to heal it.
When I feel less than perfect, when I experience lack or fear, when in any kind of stress I first find a space to be alone. My car works well for me. I then do some exercises that get me in my body. I breathe deeply by expanding my belly, pulling the diaphragm downward then push the air out through my teeth in a hisssssss. I hiss hard and fast a few times. Now I am light headed and more relaxed.
Next I do a few “motor-boat” raspberries with the lips. It requires so much wind to get the lips buzzing at all I feel my abs contract with every attempt, successful or not. I add sound to the buzzing. Babies do this naturally! I feel silly, my ego is gone and I have woken up my inner child. Lastly I blow on my finger-tips just a few times to memorize the breath and to notice from where the breath comes…the abs again. I add an “ooooh” to that breath still feeling the breath on the finger tips.
With those few exercises, hissing, motorboating and blowing an oooh sound, I am in my body, fully. When I am in my body I am out of my mind! What a nice place to be to heal! It’s those very body muscles, my core, my intuition that will loosen and release emotion, ideas and beliefs I have no conscious awareness I still have in me! I ask the question – “Who can I forgive today to reach the next level of my awareness? Who can I forgive today to heal my body, my finances.” Whatever my present challenge is, “Who can I forgive today?” becomes my first question. Then I listen.
Sometimes it’s mom, dad, sister but most often it’s myself and I think “AGAIN!?” But forgiveness comes in layers and layers. As much as I was willing and able to release before, each time I release from a deeper level. Finally that particular issue has no more charge. It feels like it’s gone forever until divine discontent stirs me up again! Then it’s off to another issue!
So here is where it gets curious. Personally, I can’t release what I don’t go through first. So, I go into those feelings of self-doubt as a child, or of woundedness and trauma. I feel the pain I may not have expressed as a child. I allow myself to speak out loud those nasty words I was unable to speak as a child. The words that for me are: “I HATE YOU for” …fill in the blank. Embracing and owning the hate and fear, pushing those emotions up and out of the body actively, as a tool, in a meditative state, on purpose forces me to excavate old wounds. So I rant and rave for a little while, in private, out loud, from the breath.
Next is the kicker! Now that I’ve gotten it all up and out I say out loud and from the breath “I FORGIVE YOU for”
…fill in the blank. For every “I hate you for leaving me!” there is an “I forgive you for leaving me.” Generally I start crying all over again.
But as I release the person, situation, trauma in this way, I peel back the layers of pain stuck in my body, loosening them up and pushing them out!
I may need to address that same issue a few times, but each time I allow myself to go there, I get a deeper release and a deeper understanding.
Every time I allow myself to work this way, I feel lighter, happier, more fulfilled and healthier in every way!
These are the less tangible results! The demonstrations of miracles that occur within a day or two are consistent and amazing. For every single Primal Purge I perform there are effects I couldn’t even dream of, physical healing not with –standing! More money flows in, more opportunity to serve, healed relationships, reconnections with a positive past, more creativity, more energy– the list goes on!
The Course in Miracles says: “I am never upset for the reasons I think I am.” If that is the case, what if everything in my present world serves me as triggers for where I am to go next in my healing. If you push my buttons, they are my buttons! When I go within and ask “What is coming up for me to heal today?” or “Who can I forgive?” and I purge, this button pushing situation doesn’t show up for me again!
When I allow myself to feel the anger on purpose, I embrace my human-ness. Working with my body muscles what comes up and out rarely makes any sense to my mind at all! That is the beauty of working physically, actively! Then when I forgive, my center, my knowing, my Spirit shines through and provides answers to questions, solutions to challenges and peace prevails. Experiencing the dramatic payoffs this work provides, lends an air of eager anticipation each time. “I can’t wait to see what comes of this purge!!”
Lauren Lane Powell has been in love with the human voice since before she could speak. She started teaching people how to sing in 1989, first in private vocal lessons in downtown South Bend, Indiana.
In 1992 Lauren earned a degree in Voice and Music Education from Indiana University,
Through her own vocal
adventures and further studies, she has rediscovered her own true authentic voice.
As she continues to study and grow, so does her work. When her voice students began to feel more relaxed and healthier she realized how important an instrument of healing we have within our own bodies! Lauren has been on the road, full time since September of 1999.
She reminds audiences world-wide, live and online, how to use their own authentic voice naturally-to sing, speak, tone
. Her website is www.harmoniesofhealing.com
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